We can understand what people mean if they say that God did not answer their prayers, because we have all asked for things that we did not receive. If we kept a list of everything that we have prayed for in a single day, we might check off very few as having been answered according to the requests we made. All those prayers for healing of sick friends or for peace in a particular part of the world, or for so many other things of importance to us: no changes that we could perceive.
And yet, we know that there is much more to our prayers than crafting specific petitions. We are not making the equivalent of long-distance phone calls to a world-wide business, and we are not limited to words, whether our own or those that are already composed. In our better moments, we are able to recognize that prayer is any and all personal contact with God that has more to do with the trust and love within us than the immediate subject of our concerns. Answers to requests cannot be judged by whether or not we receive favorable immediate outcomes.
From the perspective of a trusting relationship with God who loves us, the only prayers that are not really answered are those that are directed not to God, but to a false image of God that we might sometimes allow in practice if not in conscious acknowledgment. And if our prayers are limited to strict habitual formulas of words, they might omit the essence of presenting our concerns to God, and follow more closely the model of telling God how things are to be done. Bringing an attitude of trust to prayer is of great importance, since we are addressing the One who knows us better than we know ourselves and how each of us can best fulfill our reason for being.
While we can ask for anything, and in any manner that seems appropriate, we do well to recall that “no” can be a loving answer. We know how to say no to people when it would be wrong for us to accede to a request or to a demand. For example, we might have previous experience that we cannot explain, or knowledge that a requestor is incapable of understanding. And so our response, given out of love and in respect, is a clear and direct answer: “no.” We do not want to forbid requests or statements that might require of us non-agreement, and neither does God. We would like our answers to be respected as coming from our own sense of what is best. That is the kind of trust that befits our relationship with God.
To receive the kind of responses to prayer that will satisfy us, we can observe the associated energy within us as we begin to pray, and make some helpful adjustments. If we find strong elements of desire to control, together with tightness in our heads and even our hearts, we have all the signs we need that direct us back to our need for trust. When our anxious energy subsides to a more peaceful state, we will find the words or sentiments that best represent us, and that authenticate our prayer.
The surest, most consistent and predictable answer to any and all prayer is the experience of peace within us, the sign that our prayer is gently but really inspired, a sharing in the activity of the Spirit of God.
